by Sarah McGirr | 13 Jul, 2020 | Uncategorized
Receiving a financial windfall or signing on a new client to your business can trigger so much excitement, it’s thrilling, but by the end of the month, the excitement can turn to disappointment, as the money seems to have pretty much disappeared into thin air. Leaving you feeling robbed of the opportunity to enjoy “having more money” and instead, feeling as if it went out as soon as it came in.
This can trigger so many old emotional patterns of guilt, shame, not feeling good enough, feeling unworthy or undeserving. Now, it really doesn’t matter how much you “needed” that money, unless you know what to do when the money does come in, these unconscious thoughts be part of a pattern causing money to continue to slip through your fingers, firmly putting you back to square one.
And as frustrating as it feels, being back to square one, it can be easy to believe that you actually don’t have any control, but in fact, it’s quite the opposite. Money does not control you. You are not a puppet at the hands of money, despite it feeling like you may have been at times.
You are in the driving seat, not money, and are in more control of it than you may think or give yourself credit for. The foundation of my coaching work is mindset, working on thoughts and beliefs. When it comes to money mindset, there are few tricks that will set you well on your way so you can stay in control and get to keep more of the money you have flowing in.
Use these 3 simple steps to stay in control and keep more money:
- Look at the Money Leaks
You may already be aware of your money leak pattern, it that’s the case, that’s great as it means you are already ahead of the game.
Let’s take a moment to check in and see if money leak patterns like these look familiar?
You swing from overworking to exhaustion, borderline burn out, creating swinging gaps in your income.
You “give” money away, overpaying or picking up the bills, to make up for feeling guilty or fearing being judged as a bit “tight” if you don’t.
You keep a secret stash of money because you are concerned that others will “take” money from you or you don’t want to stand out and be seen as having more money than others.
You avoid discussing money to avoid conflict and thereby any feelings you think may come up if you did.
Everyone has their own money leak pattern, so don’t worry, if yours aren’t listed above. Some patterns are more obvious than others. Now, whether your money leak pattern is one of the above or a different one, the more honest you are with yourself, the faster you’ll feel empowered to bite the bullet and take control, getting into aligned financial action.
The sense of relief you feel once you get started will be more than worth it, completely outweighing any sense of dread you think you may have at the moment.
- Give Yourself Permission to Have More
As a business coach, some clients put themselves in a position where they ask me to “give” them permission to make and keep more money. Very often, below the surface there is a desire to feel safe, loved and accepted by someone they trust, so they can feel free to create greater income.
Why is this? Every client has someone in their life they have concerns about upsetting, making angry, disappointing, hurting or even disempowering in some way.
Most women need to consciously give themselves permission that it’s safe to make more money, to keep more money, to let themselves shine, to feel empowered, to make more than others around them, to make more than their spouse/partner. The list goes on and on.
Acknowledging where you may have a concern about being successful and wealthy and explicitly giving yourself permission that it’s safe to make and keep more money is a simple yet profoundly impactful action you can take that instantly gives you the control you’re seeking.
Your desire to be financially successful doesn’t disempower anyone around you. Will a few people in your life feel threatened as you start to have more money? Maybe, but that’s their choice, that’s their emotional response, not yours. Remember that you playing small does not help anyone else feel big.
So, give yourself permission to shine, now.
- Let Money Stick To You
It’s time to get sticky! A powerful coaching exercise I do with my clients when they receive a financial windfall of any size is to let the money just sit in their bank account for a minimum of 2 weeks.
Having that money just sitting there will shine a light on where you are uncomfortable and where you may want to get rid of it fast as a way of avoiding uncomfortable feelings.
During these two weeks you could experience, and process through, feelings of guilt, success shame, having more than others, and so it goes on. Gifting yourself that time allows you to get to the other side of those feelings and make empowered choices that support you in continuing to grow your business, your reach and influence.
Keeping more money is an empowering action that will increase your confidence and starting these 3 powerful actions are a great kick-starter to getting to know your worth. Here’s to your success!
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by Sarah McGirr | 11 Apr, 2020 | Uncategorized
Here we are a few weeks into a strange new normal, that is nowhere near our old normal ever was.
The world has been shut down before our eyes and we have found ourselves powerless to do anything about it. Shut down due to an unseen, yet tragically fatal, force.
So, what do we do now? Some of you may have been adjusting to pottering about, catching up with things that were staring at you, waiting to be done. Some of you may have still chosen to ignore those old unfinished tasks, ahem, gleefully. But either way, we are all still in lockdown, whilst still being eternally grateful to those key workers literally risking their own lives to keep the world fed, watered and functioning.
For many, it had been a time for reflection, whilst for others, there has been too much time to damn well reflect on. So, how best to cope in these strange times?
I was recently listening to a talk by a former uncharged prisoner who had been held in isolation for many years. He shared some really valuable advice with his audience. Some of which may seem blindingly obvious, but in their nature, that is why they were so valuable. I’ll share a few with you here.
First and foremost is routine. Having a routine is fundamental, as it gives structure to the day. It doesn’t have to be rigid, not something to guilt trip yourself over, or pressurise yourself to stick with, but something that gives you a framework in which to peg parts of your day onto. This has certainly worked for me so far.
This doesn’t have to be about fitting in a multitude of online language classes for you and piling on limitless activities for the kids, who were sent home from school with lists of passwords for their seemingly endless online classrooms. It is about having a loose idea of what part of the day you will do something and when. You don’t need to be fluent in a Mongolian dialect by the end of lockdown just to prove to yourself that you are able to keep your brain going.
Along with routine, comes sleep. Just because the sofa is there, it doesn’t have to be sat on, or laid down on, for a possible 16 hour stint. I may be exaggerating to highlight a point, but nonetheless, it’s not a good idea to be semi-attached to piece of furniture really, is it? Some things go beyond comfort at a point!
Keeping a bedtime that isn’t too far off a normal time is pretty good going, as it will keep your sleeping pattern regular, which helps stave off anything that vaguely starts to look like depression.
Secondly, and again without the pressure, comes exercise. Bearing in mind this former prisoner was in solitary confinement during part of his prison stay, he used exercise to keep himself fit, and as sane as he could. Obviously, it doesn’t have to be hi tech. He said he did star jumps, press ups etc. Light exercise in whatever space you have is fine. Little and often daily during lockdown is better than losing your life to Netflix and shifting from one end of the sofa to the other accompanied by the quarantine snacks are oddly disappearing at a quick pace.
And when it comes to parenting, cut yourself some slack. This lockdown business looks like it’s here for a while yet, so don’t expect to be the same smiley school run parent. There are no clubs to ferry the kids off to and keep them out of sight for a while. Extra bodies are in the house, big and small, and it is how we deal with them that keep us sane, and yes that’ll feature a bit extra screen time, ahem, maybe a couple more hours here and there.
Another useful tip that was shared was when it comes to the kitchen…yep, another potential area, literally, of conflict, especially as it has the food in it! His advice was for ONE person to be in the kitchen at a time. Crikey, talk about effective, and doesn’t it make sense? Just one person, imagine, that’s almost luxurious when you consider how many people are likely to be indoors at the moment.
And all those books you intend to read during lockdown? Read what you feel like when you feel like it. Again, not another area for guilt tripping. Lockdown doesn’t have become a reading marathon, unless of course you want it to(!) Oh, and only start writing that book if you want to. You really don’t have to complete that trilogy ready for the book deal come Autumn either!
All in all, we can sort of keep sane, well, a “lockdown sane” AKA survival, by looking at the small wins in the day and having a loose routine. You don’t have to have highly ambitious expectations of what you will learn, don’t push yourself too hard, don’t expect your kids to have become little professors by September, don’t expect your spouse to have redecorated the house or given the garden a makeover, don’t expect to become a master baker over the summer, nor clear out the garage, wardrobe or whatever other space you use a dumping ground. If it gets done as a by product of the lockdown, that’s all well and good, but don’t put additional pressure on yourself if you come out the other side of this with stuff in the house still looking at you waiting to be done. That’s life, there will always be something that needs to be done. Unless it’s urgent, don’t use it as a lockdown tool to batter yourself with.
Keep it simple and stay safe. Walk away when the kids are bickering – they can sort things out themselves, don’t expect the house to be spotless just because there are more people at home to tidy. That is precisely why the place is not spotless!
Allow this time for you to hear how compassionate your heart really is. Do a good deed here and there where you can and feel the love in your heart for those who are facing far harder times than us just wondering why the quarantine snacks are running low.
We are all in this together.
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by Sarah McGirr | 16 Mar, 2020 | Uncategorized
In times of uncertainty, and now more so than ever as we are living in an unprecedented time, it could be easy to go off and do what makes us happy, shopping!
And in these challenging times, shopping, especially online shopping, can be all too alluring. However, in the long run, this spending can cost us more than the financial transaction.
Speaking to the Sunday Times about her attitude to spending and saving, Trinny Woodall, 56, London based TV presenter and founder of make-up and lifestyle brand TrinnyLondon, explained, ‘When I was spending wildly in my late twenties, I went to Liberty and got a store card that charged something like 28 per cent…I bought 100 pairs of tights that year and my debt turned from £800 into more than £4,000 because of the interest.’
She told the Sunday Times, that shopping ‘makes me happy’. This comes as no surprise as the ‘happiness hormone’, dopamine, is triggered when we get a reward. In this case Trinny’s tight splurges were triggering her dopamine. However, that feel good factor was soon overshadowed by the interest added on to the initial spending.
Trinny went on to explain that she developed better habits and stopped relying on material goods to make her happy. ‘There have been times in my life where I went to Debtors Anonymous, which is not just for people who are broke all the time but also for those who don’t know how to manage money – apparently it’s very common for workaholics like me.’
‘I was kidding myself that I knew what I was spending, but I had frivolous money leaks everywhere: iTunes was a big black hole.’
Seeking assistance looks like it paid off for Trinny as it helped her discover her ‘money leaks’. What’s a money leak I hear you ask?
Money leaks fall into a couple of categories. Firstly, is when you are spending or overspending in a particular category when you know the purchases or items are not completely necessary. Think takeaways(!)
Secondly, are all those contactless or cash transactions you simply don’t keep track of. Think of all that contactless ‘tapping’ that goes on, when out and about, along with those mysterious ATM withdrawals, after which the cash seems to disappears into thin air!
After some challenging financial years, it now looks like Trinny’s financial wellbeing has stabilised. She told the Sunday Times, she currently has no outstanding loans for the first time in her life and has some savings in the bank. She added that debt is an ’emotionally traumatic place’.
This ‘traumatic place’, can incorporate feelings of guilt, shame, secrecy and powerlessness around money. These feelings can lead us to isolate emotionally, act as if everything is okay whilst quietly sticking our head in the sand, or even finding ourselves lending out money when we really can’t afford to because we feel we can’t say no, as well as so many other emotions and behaviours.
It is all too easy to underestimate the impact being in debt has on one’s mental wellbeing and relationship with self, as well as the spending we just can’t seem to keep track off, regardless of it being debt or not.
Understanding behaviour around money and money mindset is the first area I work on with clients in my coaching. My work helps clients develop an authentic relationship with self from which they are able to release the guilt, shame and secrecy from their relationship with money. Once they gain a more insightful understanding of why they behave the way they do around money, fundamental shifts take place and always for the better!
Find out more here.
by Sarah McGirr | 31 Jan, 2020 | Uncategorized
The relationship between money and women can be a complex one. Women often put themselves further and further down the list, especially when you have loved ones depending on you. You make sacrifices, willingly and not so willingly for the sake of others, be it for the greater good of your family, colleagues or others in your lives.
Amongst those sacrifices are financial sacrifices, namely, taking time out of the workplace for family commitments, which can mean years of running a household on a reduced income. Or opting to working part-time to fit in around family life, thereby working on a smaller budget and this can include taking on lesser paid work than in a previous position. Thereby entering into the cycle of under earning, under charging, over delivering, thinking what you are making per hour is what you are actually worth in terms of the service you provide. It is also not uncommon to find women offering discounts on their work or not following up on invoices for outstanding payments. In 2019, the Independent newspaper reported that UK government figures showed that almost eight in 10 companies still paid men more than women with more than a quarter paying female employees up to 20 per cent less. Read more here
But by continuing this cycle of under earning and under charging it simply means you are surviving, perpetually feeling financially stretched and that there will never be enough financially. All this comes from not standing in your power and not claiming your worth. It is all too easy to forget that you have the ability and strength to ask for more from this life. You do not need to settle here, just because you think you ought to, thinking your circumstances won’t change for you to make more money.
However, you do have the ability to change this. You can change the story you tell yourself about how you make, keep and spend your money. Once you start off on the track of changing your self-belief and seeing yourself as capable rather than compromising and making yourself smaller, things do begin to change. After all, Rome was not built in a day.
I can help you get on track and help you understand your past behaviour when it comes to your spending and saving. No more looking at your bank balance through your fingers! And once you get a much deeper understanding of your behaviour around money, you will be thriving rather than just surviving.
Contact me here for an informal chat to see how you can start making these changes today!
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by Sarah McGirr | 20 Jan, 2020 | Uncategorized
When it comes to money blocks, we face a myriad of challenges. Once you have taken my money archetype assessment, you will discover your own personal money DNA that is unique to you and shines a light on how you behave around money.
You may not recognise it as a money block, but if you find yourself constantly striving for perfection in so many of your ventures and personal life and feel like you are letting yourself, and those around you, down if you don’t achieve this, then this is a money block right here.
This desire for perfectionism can fuel a perpetual cycle of overworking and over-delivering when it comes to work and your business life, which in turn causes an exhausting nose-to-tail existence of keeping your fingers in many pies. Starting up new businesses, leading projects, completing one project and jumping straight in to the next one without giving yourself time to think.
You find yourself in positions at work or business where you feel you daren’t even allow yourself to slow down as you have set such high expectations for yourself, or you are striving to reach others’ expectations of you and haven’t got time to breathe and slow down, so you pursue your targets relentlessly nonetheless.
But perfectionism doesn’t have to be a dirty word or something to guilt trip yourself about. It doesn’t have to cause burn out, it can be intuitively channelled to effectively fire up new projects, lead without exhaustion and successfully accomplish targets – once you know how.
Let’s connect here and find out how you can step out of overwhelm, burn out and balance out the constant chase for perfectionism.
Ready for more of my best free content on all things coaching? Money mindset, pricing, branding and so much more.
Join my Facebook Group: Empowered We Rise. A fast-growing supportive community, specifically for women in business, who are ready to stand in their power by knowing their worth and creating their financial freedom.
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