Female entrepreneurs have enough on their plate. Often, we can feel as if we aren’t good enough and it can be dismissed by some as a bit a taboo subject, or maybe a bit self-indulgent to bring out in the open, or played down to feel as it doesn’t really matter. This could stem from fear of being judged, worrying about what other people think of us, people pleasing or wishing we were firmer in our boundaries, in life and business.
I often hear from female entrepreneurs who tell me that they are worried about not feeling good enough to say, raise their fees, or be seen as a groundbreaker in their field, or feeling worthy of following up with a client about invoices and so it goes on.
I’d like to share 3 quick and easy ways you can overcome these hurdles and start to feel good enough, in life and business.
- Let Go of Looking for External Approval
A popular belief I hear from female entrepreneurs is that they are worried about feeling judged. Sound familiar? This may come from a belief buried somewhere in your subconscious mind you that you need the approval of others. Have you found yourself subconsciously waiting for someone else to approve of your work, your fees, or your contribution towards something?
If this rings a bell, what is happening here with this belief, is that you are looking to others for approval. You are waiting for others to tell you that you are okay but an unfortunate side effect of this is that you are giving them your power in the process. This may be an old habit formed from a belief that you didn’t even realise you had.
I’d like to ask you to consider this, what would it look like if you DIDN’T need to wait for others’ approval, telling you that you are okay? What if you actually gave YOURSELF approval for something? What if you told yourself that X, Y or Z was great and you did it well? How about allowing yourself to give yourself praise rather than subconsciously waiting for others to give you the nod?
This might be breaking away from old thinking. But why not give it a go? You may surprise yourself!
- Comparisonitis
Secondly, you may not have realised you have this strange sounding condition!
Now, I can’t guarantee it is a medically recognised condition, but you can probably guess what I’m referring to just from the name! And you might be curling your toes already at the thought of it!
So let’s bring it out of the shadows and have a closer look. It won’t hurt! Now, it might seem completely logical and rational to compare your work to others in your industry – to see what’s going on. But if there’s some negative self-talk in your inner dialogue already, looking around might actually make you feel worse and keep you in a place of analysis paralysis and overwhelm. It could lead you to feeling lousy for having considered, say, increasing your fees, or stepping away from the crowd in some way in your business, say perhaps, offering your services in a different way.
When you look at others, you aren’t actually comparing like with like. Everyone is different, and even if many businesses might seem somewhat cookie cutter, they will each have different ways of doing things. I invite you to acknowledge that it is safe for you to do things your way. No two entrepreneurs will be doing things exactly the same way. We are all born as individuals, so that’s how we will operate our businesses. You will serve the clients in your business that you are meant to serve. It is safe for you to be you in your business. It is simply not possible to be like someone else, or else we would have all been born the same. There is space in the world for you to run your business in your unique way and show up and serve your clients as only you can. And the same goes for other businesses too. There are enough clients to go around for all, and for you to serve in the way that is authentic to you. Give it a go and give yourself permission to allow yourself to be you!
- Look at What is Going Right
Finally, it’s not something that is often done, as it is all too easy to focus on the negative, but I’d like to flip this around and ask you to look at what you are actually doing right. What is going well for you?
It may be as seemingly basic as say, having a roof over your head, or being in good health, or simply waking up to see another day, or having the energy to go for a walk.
In these fast changing times, it can be reassuring to take a step back and look at what’s going well, as it is such a great foundation to move forward from and build on.
I’d like to invite you to list 3 things that you are grateful for at the moment, without judgment. Allow yourself the space to go with the first 3 things that come to mind. It really doesn’t matter how trivial they may feel. What matters is that your mind is focusing on the positive and that’s where healthy foundations are built.
Moving forward from a place of knowing that there are at least a few things in your life that are going well could be just the lift you need to keep going and be you.
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