As if 2020 hasn’t been strange enough – and as if that isn’t the understatement of the century – it would be all too easy to keep up some habits that are all just a little too familiar, albeit becoming a bit more uncomfortable by the day.
When it comes to money, and I speak from experience, some of us may have a little repertoire of AVOIDANCE BEHAVIOURS. Not a term you hear every day and it does what it says on the tin – have you behaving in a way to avoid something that you don’t want to deal with.
Money management is often one of them.
I speak from experience, when I say sometimes it feels “easier” not to deal with envelopes arriving in the post, especially when you know they are chasing outstanding debts.
But after a while, those envelopes pile up and the time comes when it is DO OR DIE and you have to bite the bullet – as the alternative is way more overwhelm than you are feeling now.
Sometimes it feels easier to bury your head in the sand. This avoidance behaviour can be something of a long term companion for many. It was for me at times.
However, each of us are unique and accordingly have our own unique behaviours when it comes to money. And the best way forward when it comes to money management is to take one step at a time, and it’s perfectly fine if those steps are baby steps. It’s moving forward and that’s what counts. Not worrying about what your inner critic might be mumbling about.
In my work as a business coach, I use a unique psychological based system to help clients step out of overwhelm. I have had my own days of unopened envelopes piling up and looking away from financial situations that I thought would actually be more uncomfortable than they were to start dealing with.
I used to just ignore calls or correspondence in the hope that it would magically disappear. Or I would have a sudden lottery windfall to clear things up, despite not doing the lottery!
The only way to move myself out of those days was to look the monster, as that’s what I thought it was, straight in the eye and get organised. Again, something that I used to think I was too relaxed and chilled to be – organised.
However, I realised that by NOT being even vaguely organised and on top of my finances it was actually holding me back.
Holding me back from:
• feeling empowered when it came to money – feeling overwhelmed was pants
• being financially independent
• creating my own financial freedom
• having “spare” money to spend on what I wanted
• investing in trainings that I wanted to do
• freeing up headspace – as money shame would often be whispering in my ear
And so it goes on.
When I realised the increasing negative headspace and discomfort of:
• staying in that space of denial
• looking away from the situation; and
• still playing avoidance behaviour games
were eventually wearing me down, something gave way and I knew that it was NOW OR NEVER.
The discomfort and limitations of NOT living a fuller life and holding myself back from feeling #cashcomfortable were too much – definitely not something I wanted in my future.
So I got to grips with my money management and the huge revelation was that it wasn’t that much of a mess after all.
It was actually the story I was telling myself in my head that was the cause of the discomfort. And not dealing with the related calls, correspondence and admin.
The sense of relief of getting on top of your money management is totally worth it.
And the joke was, there wasn’t any need to bury my head in the sand after all. It was completely do-able.
And I felt so much more clear headed and empowered once I got back on track and organised.
The #moneyshame had gone and the #overwhelm had disappeared too.
And it gets you wondering if those monsters your head tells you about are real after all?
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